34 weeks, 4 days

Haven't updated in awhile. Not a lot to add, really. I've been drinking my red raspberry tea (icky stuff, but if it'll get Ian here before my due date, I'm all for it). I've also been taking Evening Primrose Oil. That stuff isn't bad. It's just a couple of natural oil pills everyday--very easy. But apparently it's more effective if at 36 weeks you use it vaginally, so I might start doing that. Not too sure about sticking stuff up the hoo-ha, but, again, if it gets Ian here a little early, I'm all for it. I checked my cervix the other day. That thing feels FUNKY. It's very squishy, so I am SOOOO hoping that it means I'm starting to soften and efface and all that stuff. It also felt slightly open, so maybe I'm a cm dilated. Or maybe I should just keep my hands out since I really have no idea what I'm feeling for--I just know it feels different than it did back when I was trying to get pregnant. I'm pretty excited about being almost 35 weeks--this means if my doctor goes for the induction, I won't be pregnant for more than 4 more weeks. Looking back, being pregnant was a lot of fun. It's really exciting hitting every milestone--2nd trimester, hearing the heartbeat, feeling movement, finding out the sex, Hazen feeling a kick, hiccups, third trimester. I swear in this third trimester every WEEK is like a huge milestone--woo hoo! I'm a week closer to holding my baby boy! I have a little guilt because I'm sooo looking forward to having the baby. And then I remind myself that the sooner the baby gets here, the sooner Hazen leaves. I am not ready for him to leave at all. It's like I know that he's going, but I don't think I've really accepted it. I know I'm going to have my breakdown soon--I always have a breakdown--I just wish I had some idea when it would happen. And I hate to do that to him. I try to remember that this thing is sooo much worse for him--at least I get to stay with the baby and watch him grow. Hazen is going to leave a 2 week old (I hope) and come back to a 6 or 7 month old. It's a big change. It makes me so sad. :( Ian has been a busy little guy the last few days. I'm not sure what he's doing, but it's awkward feeling. I haven't had to do my kickcounts the last 3 days because I know he's fine--he's moving plenty. Last night he was up at 3 and 6. I've heard that the sleep pattern they have in the womb is very similar to the one that they have when they're born, so I guess I should expect to be up around 3 and 6--it's not the first time he's been active then. He was also wiggling around quite a bit when I woke up (at 11:30. All I want to do anymore is sleep). His hiccups seem to be lasting longer, too. Sometimes he'll give me a huge bump while he has them. Maj. Korkosz told me they don't bother them, but I don't know--I know they bother me and when I'm getting body slammed from the inside, I can't help but think they're bugging him a little bit, too. We have decided to circumsize (it wasn't a question for Hazen, I did a little more research on it though). Well, apparently there is a MySpace person that stalks pages and finds people who are having baby boys. His sn is Not Sircumsized and all his pictures and things are of non-circumsicion groups, and baby's upset about being cut and all his blogs are also about it. That's fine, but don't ask to be my friend. I will do what I want with my little boys' penis (I know that sounds awful, but, yeah...). So I was a little insulted by that. I feel bad enough that I'm going to make my poor baby cry--I think I'm going to make Hazen stand in there with him. He doesn't want to, but it was his decision, so I think that's only fair. Poor baby needs someone he recognizes holding his hand. Well, I am off to shower and return some movies before Hazen gets up and needs the car. I'll try to update more often. There just isn't much going on these days other than my impatience to get the kid OUT.